Wednesday, April 11, 2007
~ 1:21 PM ~
pangkor mmg best. tapi ada yg buatkan pangkor jadi tak best. kenangan! ya.. kenangan manis yg tercipta buatkan aku sengsara. sungguh hati ini dungu menilai
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
~ 12:29 PM ~
semalam aku marah ngan shiham. sangat sangat marah! dia buat aku tunggu dia semata2 utk dia berbual dgn ntah saper2 yg dia tak kenal. huuu.. sangat hangin wei.. sampaikan aku balik bilik aku balik barang2 dlm bilik, dan sepak segala2 benda yg boleh disepak. hmm.. nampak gayanya tahap baran aku ni makin meninggi..
dan aku mula memesej2 suma org dan memiskol suma org dgn maksud : "aku hangin ni!!! sila fahami.." dan ada yg kol, ada jugak yg msg. james pesan kat aku suh cari ice cube letak atas dahi.pesanan ikhlas yg tak masuk akal. mana aku nak cekau ice cube kt ostel dlm pkul 12.35 mlm? aiyai! dan dia ckp suh aku ingat benda2 yg wonderful moment in my life.suh tgk bintang dah tah hape2 lagi tah! aku pon tak save dlm palotak aku apa yg dia bebelkan tu sbb otak aku terlalu panas dan serabut utk pk benda remeh-temeh camtu.
then aku msg2 ngan adek joni yg chumel, dan sesambil msg ngan dia, aku pon tertido. ekceli, setiap kali aku mrh, aku akan tido sbb aku tak punya cara lain utk luahkan kemarahan aku. ada gak masa2nya aku g basuh baju, cuci muka, minum air, pukul2 sesuatu dgn sepenuh perasaan dan ada kalanya melarikan diri ke tasik atopon amik moto dan rempit menuju ke mana2 saja kawasan sekitar uia mahupun jalan gombak.tapi the most effective way is to sleep. sbb bila aku tido, aku akan melupakan apa2 yg membebankan fikiran aku tu, dan tinggalkan segala masalah dlm tido. tp depends gak ar.. kdg2 cara tu jadi, kdg2 tak. tp utk meredakan kemarahan, yes, mmg boleh! mmg cara tu jadi. tp utk hilangkan kemarahan altogether mmg tak boleh. dont expect too much la dey..!!
tapi smlm mmg aku mrh giler sampaikan otak aku terlalu penat nak berfikir, sampai tertido sambil msg2 ngan adek joni, dan bila aku bgn pagi ni, kemarahan tu masih bersisa tapi bukanla sepanas semalam.dan aku amik tipon, lalu aku msg org yg buat aku mrh tu dan mintak maaf. and guess what.. i feel relief right away! dan lepas mandi aku siap boleh menyanyi2 lg ni.. dan wlopon aku g klas 25min lewat,tetap gak bleh tersenyum2 atas moto sambil menyanyi.ekceli aku teringat kisah semalam yg mana maung tego aku smbil tersenyum meleret. oh! wht a wonderful life.. hmm.. terbayang lg senyuman dia yg teramat manis dan teramat mahal tu.. hmm.. hmm..
Friday, December 22, 2006
~ 4:45 PM ~
sesungguhnya hidup ini sangat bosan tanpa sesuatu yg bernama semangat! sungguh aku xde semangat untuk hidup. dan kenapa pula begitu? entahlah.. entah setan mana yg merasuk, namun yg pastinya otak sgt2 berserabut, dan takde perasaan nak meneruskan hidup. dan yg bodohnya aku terus2an menyangka yg aku ini sakit. dan bakal gila. oh please smbody please save me from this nightmare!
sesungguhnya aku bosan dgn hidup ini, dan meluat serta menyampah dgn diri sendiri. nak kata apa lagi? dok diam lagi bagus! nak ckp pon malas. nak taip blog pon malas gak. nak makan pon malas. nak mandi pon malas. tapi ada dua benda yg selama2nya aku takkan malas : 1- tido. 2-mkn cikedis e.g: twisties, or cheezels or what hv u.
tadi baru pas borak ngan dizam.rasa masa terlalu cepat berlalu. dan terlalu perlahannya kita menjalani hidup ini. byk lagi benda aku nak ckp dgn mamat tu, tapi dia plak rushing nak balik umah. aku pon iyekan ajerla.. diakan ada baby kt umah tu yg nak kena disusukan.. haha bes jer aku kutuk org. i mean.. it good la dia nak balik umah, jumpak parent, jumpak pemeli, tapi.. tak balik seminggu takleh ker?? asik2 aku kol balikkkkkk jer manjang. aku yg pompuan ni tak balik tetiap minggu xper pon??!! hmm whateva la..
dan sesungguhnya semua benda disekeliling adalah amat amat amat sangat memboringkan! thats the lesson of the day. hidup ini penuh dgn kebosanan yg pelbagai. sekian
Monday, November 06, 2006
~ 4:14 PM ~
Dealova - Once
Aku ingin menjadi mimpi indah dalam tidurmu
Aku ingin menjadi sesuatu yg mungkin bisa kau rindu
Karena langkah merapuh tanpa dirimu
Oh karena hati tlah letih
Aku ingin menjadi sesuatu
yg selalu bisa kau sentuh
Aku ingin kau tahu bahwa ku
selalu memujamu
Tanpamu sepinya waktu
merantai hati
Oh bayangmu seakan-akan
Kau seperti nyanyian dalam hatiku
Yang memanggil rinduku padamu
Seperti udara yg ku hela kau selalu ada
Hanya dirimu yg bisa membuatku tenang
Tanpa dirimu aku merasa hilang
Dan sepi, dan sepi
Selalu ada, kau selalu ada
Selalu ada, kau selalu ada
~ 4:06 PM ~
Masih Ada Cinta - A to Z
Angin lalu kirimkanlah
Beritanya oh di sana
Di hatiku masih ada cinta
Kembalilah kekasihku sayang
Ku rindu...
Kini tiada ku terlihat senyum di bibir
Kini tiada ku terdengar senda gurau mu
Sejak kau pergi dari sisi ku merana
Jiwa meronta terasa di persenda
Mungkin tiada harga lagi
Lautan cinta tiada bererti
Sayang kini aku pasti
Aku rindu teramat rindu
Cinta bersemi dipagari seribu mimpi
Janji bererti disulami kasih sejati
Kini sendiri ku menyusuri hidup ini
Kini sendiri ku tempuhi onak dan duri
Ku rindu...
~ 3:57 PM ~
Kau Ilhamku - Man Bai
Beribu bintang dilangit kini menghilang
Meraba aku dalam kelam
Rembulan mengambang kini makin suram
Pudar ilhamku tanpa arah
Sedetik wajahmu muncul dalam diam
Ada kerdipan ada sinar
Itukah bintang atau rembulan
Terima kasih kuucapkan
Izinkan kumencuri bayangan wajahmu
Izinkan ku mencuri khayalan denganmu
Maafkanlah oh...
Andai lagu ini mengganggu ruangan hidupmu
Kau senyumlah oh...
Sekadar memori kita di arena ini
Kau ilhamku...
Kau ilhamku...
~ 2:28 PM ~
tadi gi library. pastu xde mood nak stadi. huargh!! bosan btol!! pasni nak gi UM. g jumpak adik. err.. my real adik. hmm.. camana la nak berhadapan dgn dia ni. mmgla adik aku, tapi dah berapa lama tak jumpak dia. adala dkat 3 tahun. ker lebih.. ntah arr tak ingat. kesimpulannyer arini adalah ari bosan sedunia!! huhuhu..
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
~ 1:26 AM ~
- friendster tidak buleh bukak di lab- kne block
- sudah overdue e-portfolio error erm.. sejam stengah. nampak gaya cam akan trus jadi sehari dan terus overdue dan terus dan terus...
- sakit ati ngan groupmate! appa pnya orang la! pandai btol dia wat aku ilang mood sehari suntuk. cam nak tibai jer ngan kusi berat kat library tuh. huwarhh!!geram! geram! geram!
- dah server kat cc nih wat hal plak. cam nak gigit2 jer kusi meja yg ada kat sini ngan tokey cc nih sekali. guh guh
- sakit otak + sakit jiwa nak exam nih! handuuu...
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
~ 4:04 PM ~
This is a test post from Photobucket.com
Thursday, May 11, 2006
~ 1:33 PM ~
semalam aku mimpi.. mimpi yg membuatkan aku berfikir.. tentang apa yg aku alami sehari2 dlm hidupku. kebelakangan ini aku sudah jarang bermimpi. maksud aku mimpi yg aku ingati kronologinya, dan mimpi yg bisa membuatkan aku terfikir.. ah! indahnya mimpi.. mungkin aku agak terbawa2 dgn romantic poems yg aku tgh blaja dlm klas ELIT2 kak TJ ni kot..
memula, aku mimpi aku naik moto.. slow jerk aku bawak moto tu. aku nak balik uia, dari kelantan. dlm perjalanan nak blk tu, aku jumpak arifuddin tgh jalan. i mean.. tepi jalan. tgh jalan slow2 nak balik uia jgk.mgkn dr kg gak. aku ajak dia tumpang tapi dia tanak.dia ckp dia larat jalan.pastu aku pon saing dia, aku bwk moto slow jer, sama slow dgn pjalanan dia. then arifuddin tetiba ckp dia penat, tak larat dan nak tumpang aku. aku pon kasi. aku yg bwkla of koz!
dlm mimpi aku tu, arifuddin sgt manja dgn aku, dan dia juga seorg yg manja dan penakut. bila aku bwk laju sket dia takut, pegang aku kuat2 sbb takut. dan dia asik ckp, slow la sket kat.. bwk leklok kak.. etc. tiba satu tempat, moto aku mati. dkt ngan umah abg nuh wkf bunut, tapi blom sempat dia nak tolong aku dah berjaya setelkan prob aku tu. hmm.. ada maknanya kat situ..
lepas tu aku meneruskan perjalanan dgn si arif.kat depan aku ada satu jalan yg lurus, kaler maroon, coklat2 sket.mcm jalan tanah laterit.phm tak tanah cemana?ya btol.. jalan tebing tali air.. xde apa2 kat kiri dan kanan jalan. dan aku pon menyusuri jalan tu. tetiba jalan tu mula menaik. dan aku dah mula cuak. aku tanya arif, camana ni arif?arif ckp ikut jerla jln tu.. dan aku menyedapkan ati, ala, mungkin jalan tu akan rata lepas ni. dan aku meneruskan perjalanan yg agak mendaki tu.. bila aku susuri jalan tu, makin tggi aku daki, makin jalan tu menaik dan berliku.hingga sampai suatu tahap, aku rasa dah macam aku panjat bukit! tak nampak apa2 kat atas.hanya jalan. punyala tinggi jalan tu! dan aku memutuskan utk tidak meneruskan pendakian, sebab aku tak tahu apa yg ada di atas sana. dan aku takutkan risiko. risiko jatuh, atau tergelincir atau kemalangan dan bermacam2 lagi ketakutan. dan arif bersetuju dgn keputusanku. lalu aku tidak lagi menekan minyak, dan membiarkan motorku menuruni bukit secara mengundur.. agak2 apa maksudnya?? the metaphor of life..
hmm.. dah tiba masa utk ke kelas.. nanti Alice akan meneruskan perjalanannya di Wonderland. nantikan sambungan pengembaraan Alice yg selanjutnya. jumpa lagi adik-adik.. bye..
~ 1:17 PM ~
semalam aku balik dr uia dah dkat kul 8.huhu gigih giler stadi! kuar pg blk malam tu.. hurm tak stadi pon sbenanyer. lepak2 kat uia,surf kat lib, wander around, buang masa, layan blues, bilang ujan etc..
aishah masuk bilik aku nak tumpang smayang.katanya: dah lama aishah xnmpk k.nor. asek xde je dlm blk, k.nor gi mana? k.nor ni, klo ada kat blk pon mcm xde.. senyap jer.. huhu.. tu dia! i did it again! pasni akan adala org cop aku ju-on mcm ms aku dok sbilik ngan nomea,nadia, dan of kozla nurul.nomea yg ckp cmtu.. tah ar.. aku pon tak ingat sgt.. mebbi ms tu aku konfrontasi dgn nurul kot.. ms ada bofren dulu.. masa zaman jahiliah dulu.
rasanya, klo ada bofren, kita akan cepat lupa dunia, lupa kawan2 kan! hmm lately aku asik rasa cam di alam mimpi, gi kelas, blk klas, tido. bgn pg sok, gi klas, blk klas, tido. nuthin concrete and important happen in my life. cuma yg membezakan hari2 yg aku alami adalah aku tensen or aku hepi. tu jer.. dan aku pnye mood tu dipengaruhi oleh byk perkara; mainly sbb layanan org2 disekitar aku.hurm..
smlm aku tido around kol 9mlm, pas baca buku la tahzan, trus naik katil. bgun dh kul 9 pg. 12 jam tuuuuu aku tido! pergh! puas ati btol tdo.. bangun rasa fresh je.. hepi je. cam xde masalah langsung. siap bleh mkn nasi goreng dulu tu sblm gi klas.wlopon dah lewat hehe.. dan sesambil dgr lagu oag gak..
to be continued..
Monday, April 24, 2006
~ 3:16 PM ~
i missed him sooo much! i dunno whether i can still meet him after this. and i still dont know whether im in love with him or is this merely like?hmm.. this is still a mystery.
omg, im so anxious.. i`ll get married somewhere within this coming two years! and yet im still .. keeping my life for myself.only! hurm dunno what else to say..
~ 3:16 PM ~
i missed him sooo much! i dunno whether i can still meet him after this. and i still dont know whether im in love with him or is this merely like?hmm.. this is still a mystery.
omg, im so anxious.. i`ll get married somewhere within this coming two years! and yet im still .. keeping my life for myself.only! hurm dunno what else to say..
Friday, April 07, 2006
~ 6:26 PM ~
aku tak tau samada aku perlu bersemuka ngan dia ke tidak.. very confusing.and yet bitter!
Friday, February 24, 2006
~ 5:16 PM ~
when u started to think bout somebody and cant get him outta ur head, then it means something dangerous is marching ur way! better get ready wid it.
it does happen to me since yesterday when i cant stop thinking bout thiz fella and that is really something! its normal when u like a new friend but not to the extent that u cant really do ur business without thinking bout that somebody rite! what more when u get overwhelmed all day long, hoping that u`ll bump into him, or worry so much if he`s angry at u or not, or u just wandering around thinking bout him and how gorgeous he is! that isn`t something normal i guess...
one thing that i figured out bout myself(yesterday) is that i am a very empty person, needing attention and shoulders urgently! i need something to listen to my heart`s voice and if u do, then taht is much much more than enuff. and i wont care if u are a living or non-living creature. as long as u`re willing to listen to my story and share my feelings, then i`ll be even happier than mary and dave.
i got into thiz mature conversation wid this two people today. one is addressing me bout the sufi kind of thing, talking bout all those motivational and inspirational thing we got in our life, our mission in this world and all stuff. the other one talked to me bout the hardship in life, on how we should rely on God whenever we`re having problems, that God will never disappoint us.. as long as we ask for help.. guess i really make my day! i talk something really big and crucial, i fill up my life wid something concrete, i did my job(even at a very initial stage), and i felt good bout myself and my day. its a pleasure to know that there is somebody out there who got even bigger problem that mine and thus willing to listen to my story from my point of u. u know, our perception can change sometimes by changing the angle from which we see the world and everything inside it.
keeping pain for urself is not kinda wise thing to do. u need to socialize that u`ll know how big this world is, and how much chance and opportunities it promise u to grab and enjoy. what matter most is how u perceive urself rather than worrying so much that u look like in the eyes of people around u. they dont pay for ur bill and dont give u money for living ight! guess i should buy that expressions voiced out repeatedly in my room.
why is it that i never realize why people dont understand me. it is me who dont allow them to enter into my life, and my heart to be precise! it is me who create big border and big wall between my life and social life. it is me who prejudice bout people not that they really care to perceive me in their micro view.
~ 5:16 PM ~
when u started to think bout somebody and cant get him outta ur head, then it means something dangerous is marching ur way! better get ready wid it.
it does happen to me since yesterday when i cant stop thinking bout thiz fella and that is really something! its normal when u like a new friend but not to the extent that u cant really do ur business without thinking bout that somebody rite! what more when u get overwhelmed all day long, hoping that u`ll bump into him, or worry so much if he`s angry at u or not, or u just wandering around thinking bout him and how gorgeous he is! that isn`t something normal i guess...
one thing that i figured out bout myself(yesterday) is that i am a very empty person, needing attention and shoulders urgently! i need something to listen to my heart`s voice and if u do, then taht is much much more than enuff. and i wont care if u are a living or non-living creature. as long as u`re willing to listen to my story and share my feelings, then i`ll be even happier than mary and dave.
i got into thiz mature conversation wid this two people today. one is addressing me bout the sufi kind of thing, talking bout all those motivational and inspirational thing we got in our life, our mission in this world and all stuff. the other one talked to me bout the hardship in life, on how we should rely on God whenever we`re having problems, that God will never disappoint us.. as long as we ask for help.. guess i really make my day! i talk something really big and crucial, i fill up my life wid something concrete, i did my job(even at a very initial stage), and i felt good bout myself and my day. its a pleasure to know that there is somebody out there who got even bigger problem that mine and thus willing to listen to my story from my point of u. u know, our perception can change sometimes by changing the angle from which we see the world and everything inside it.
keeping pain for urself is not kinda wise thing to do. u need to socialize that u`ll know how big this world is, and how much chance and opportunities it promise u to grab and enjoy. what matter most is how u perceive urself rather than worrying so much that u look like in the eyes of people around u. they dont pay for ur bill and dont give u money for living ight! guess i should buy that expressions voiced out repeatedly in my room.
why is it that i never realize why people dont understand me. it is me who dont allow them to enter into my life, and my heart to be precise! it is me who create big border and big wall between my life and social life. it is me who prejudice bout people not that they really care to perceive me in their micro view.